8 Things to do with Your Children During A Hurricane....and During the Aftermath

So....a lot of you have already heard me bitch.  Its not that I lost power (because I didn't - I was lucky).  Its not about losing the Internet (because we don't subscribe to it at the house - that's why I pay more money for a smart phone).  Its not even that I can't watch the latest episode of Jersey Shore because my cable is out (because a. I don't watch Jersey Shore and 2. I didn't lose cable).  No....my bitch is about alllllll those assholes who didn't prepare for the storm, to be without power for 3-4 days like all the media "hyped it up" and are now complaining that their respective utility departments aren't moving fast enough.  I could go on again about my thoughts on the subject...but its a fight not worth battling.

Instead, I bring you, 8 fun things you could do with your children during a hurricane and the aftermath.  Realistically, these are thing you SHOULD be doing with your children ANYWAY.....but I digress....

1) READ with them.  During the day, there is sunlight.  Sunlight helps you see the words on the pages.  The pages do not require electricity.  Your children don't like to read??   Tough shit.  You're the parent, they're the children, make them read.  Its good for them.  They'll thank you later.

2) BUILD a fort.  No, I don't mean throw a blanket over a chair and call it a day.  I mean a state of the art fort involving SEVERAL blankets and chairs and clothes pins and flashlights and tunnels ans whatever the hell else you can think of.  Chances are you'll do most of the building but in 4 hours, your child will have a pretty sweet pad to sleep in for the night.

3) COLOR with your young children.  PAINT with them.  Pretend you're a world famous artist and teach them how to do like you do.  Have THEM teach YOU.  Have painting contests like: who can paint the prettiest flower or biggest truck - but with their eyes closed....with their left hand....

4) BUILD a cardboard city.  What is a cardboard city you ask?  Its exactly what it sounds like dumbass.  Cereal boxes, oatmeal containers....anything that's chillin' in the recycling container you brought inside so it doesn't blow away...instantly becomes something in your city.  Then, drive matchbox cars around your city.  Your child doesn't have matchbox cars?  Shame on you.  You fail as a parent.

5) PLAY dress up.  They put on your clothes....can you put on theirs???  Have a contest.  Who can put on the most pairs of pants at one time? 

6) START your Christmas list.  I have a shit load of fliers in my recycling (again, you brought it inside anyway remember?) that advertise everything from food to clothes to toys to Keurigs....{{Hint hint}}

7) PLAY shadow games.  As the day comes to an end, your house will get dark.  If you were prepared you have flashlights.  Do you know how to make shadow puppets?  Either do I.  Make it up.  Who the hell cares??

Finally,
8) In the days after the storm, there are going to be SEVERAL people you know - maybe not well - but you know them - who require assistance.  Get out with your children and HELP them.  Maybe an elderly neighbor's yard needs cleaning up.  Perhaps you have power but someone you know doesn't and won't for God knows how long - make them dinner and invite them over for a literal shit, shower, and shave.  I mean, you don't have to help with ALL those items...obviously....but a house with running water and a warm cooked meal is like gold right now.  Are you sharing?  If you all don't have power, gather the neighbors all up, light up your grill, and have a cookout.  You're not going to work, your kids don't have school, and the food is going to go bad anyway, right?

I'm leaving with a positive thought: “The happiest people I have known have been those who gave themselves no concern about their own souls, but did their uttermost to mitigate the miseries of others.” - Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Social Activist