A Few Happy Thoughts

For those of you who know me, you know that I'm EXTREMELY SERIOUS all the time. Hahahahahaha....ah yeah right. I crack myself up. I'm probably one of the most sarcastic people you know who, at any function, will find the appropriate time to get at least ONE wise crack in. I thought I'd highlight some of today's witty one-liners. 1. To the 7000th person who asked "do you have a fitting room?" I replied, "yep.".......awkward silence...."oh, would you like a room?" 2. To the girl who said, "I really like your store but its nothing like the Forever 21 I was in in Jersey.", I replied, "Thank friggin gawd. That place is dump." She's probably still confused.... 3. "Are your scents hypoallergenic?" "My scents are...because my body produces them. The fragrances I sell, on the otherhand, are not." 4. "Can you break a $10?" "No but I can rip it." 5. To the gentleman who asked why I don't sell men's underwear I replied, "Because I don't know how to sew them." Ahhh.....sarcasm. How I love thee.

O. M. F. G.......an email rant...

Have you ever had one if those days that looks stellar in pictures and in Facebook status updates but in reality your anxiety level is through the roof and you're just waiting to explode and then when you finally climb into bed the goddamn cat decides he's gonna start lapping up some water which drives you absolutely bankers because all you can hear is the lap, lap, lap of the cat drinking and because you can't stand that sound and your anxiety level is so high you'd really like to boot the damn cat outside for the night but seeing as how its your mom's precious friggin cat you can't boot it outside or else she'll boot the dog out which is totally unfair because what the hell did the dog do? Welcome to my current mental status. Annnddd people wonder why I used to smoke......maybe drinking. Maybe I'll start drinking.......

12 Days on the Cape

As most of you know by now, I just spent 12 days in Cape Cod.  Hyannis to more specific.  How do you know this?  Because I let you know REPEATEDLY on Facebook while I was up there.  If you didn't know I went, well, then you follow me on here but aren't on Facebook...ever. 

My first  "day" on the Cape involved me taking my rental car - a 2011 Doge Caliber - to the new rue21 store in the Cape Cod Mall (well, the parking lot), being handed the keys to the store gate that couldn't be pulled down because we didn't have a gate hook....or a window front yet....and then heading to Main St with a few other store managers for dinner.  Yup.  That's it. 

So Saturday morning started with everyone meeting in the new store to "take the truck" which basically means hard physical labor of unloading a 53' tractor trailer box by box by box until the truck is empty.  Then...the rest of the weekend was kind of boring...unpacking boxes...folding, hanging, sensoring product...basically making the store look like a store.  Oh, Monday too.  13 hours a day for 3 days.....needless to say, I was a cranky bitch.  Luckily for all involved, I managed to land the "extra" room as there were an odd number of females on the trip and I was there the longest.  Kari from Albemarle, NC was there for 6 days, everyone else 3-4, I was there for 12...I BETTER get the solo room.  This is what it looked like:

My home away from Home.  Those mattresses were like fluffy clouds they were so soft and squishy...sounds glorious...unless you're like me and have a bad back....

On Tuesday, I was fortunate to have the day off.  So what did I do with myself?  I did what anyone would do when being paid to be in Cape Cod with a day off and 70 degree weather in October - I hopped the ferry to Martha's Vineyard, took the bus to the southwestern most point on the island where the bus only comes once every 2 hours....and hid for 4 hours.  Hahahahahahahah!!!!!  Suckas!

The sight rolling into the harbor.

My bus ride view heading down to Gay Head...my bus driver was
a volunteer fire fighter.  Awesome-sauce.

View from Gay Head.

The lighthouse at Gay Head.

Walking onto the beach....it was 70 degrees...in October...did I mention this already?

As you can see, Martha's Vineyard in the off season is VERY crowded.

Ahhh yes....working very hard.  Thank you rue21!

Ok, so Wednesday I came back to  reality and subsequently back to work.  Which wasn't supposed to be until 4pm.  I went in at noon and lucky for me....they - the Regional Director of the company, the District Manager, and all the visiting support staff, were breaking for lunch...on the RD's ticket.  "Hey Carrie!  Want to join us?"   I contemplating declining.  You know, I had the day off the day before, technically I wasn't even supposed to be there....but really?  Who in their right mind would refuse a lunch you're being invited to by your boss and your boss's boss???  So I went.  It was so tasty.  We ate at Joe's.  I had the California Bacon Blue pizza....Kari (from Albemarle) had the Buffalo Chicken Pizza...I took both left overs home (well, to the Holiday Inn).

After lunch, I returned to the store, helped put the finishing touches on the store and attended the new store staff meeting.  Every new store opening we do a video that introduces the staff.  As luck would have it, I didn't HAVE to participate.  But, there was also a new fragrance launch corresponding to this opening and they needed a stand-in....here I am:

I know..INTENSE right??? 

Thursday marked the opening of the new rue21, store #1058 Hyannis...here's my windows:

Looks good right???  Thanks. :-)  First time I executed windows BY MYSELF!  Woohoo!  (I know that sounds a little lame but if you work in retail, you get it - you need a second set of hands most of the time).

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday was kind of a blur.  I was the "acting store manager" in a town I was quickly learning wasn't all sunshine and roses in the off-season....I had to learn new tasks by myself and then communicate those skills to a limited staff....hire new employees and communicate with the Home Office with a down fax machine to work with...issues with the alarm company, that apparently, didn't like the fact that I was a visiting manager with limited security knowledge...issues with the contractors...issues with IT....issues with teenagers as employees....it was, at best, overwhelming, but I managed. 

Tuesday, I went into the store for the last time as the big guy...or gal...and received a coffee from one employee and a butterfinger bar (MY FAVORITE!!!!) from another.  Oh, and hugs.  THEY LIKED ME!  THEY REALLY LIKED ME!!!  Lol.   I was loved there but, it wasn't home.  And I needed to be home.  So, I left 1058 and prayed like hell that they swam...didn't sink...and met my baby at home.

Apparently I am loved at home too because Kelsey and Jared came over, and put this little number together with Lilly:



Notice the caution tape...and my dilapidated fence...my house officially looks like an abandoned home.

And then, after dinner, I was presented with cake.  That Lilly and my mom baked together....and Lilly decorated:

Best freakin' cake I've ever been given!

So that's it folks!  Next up is a bunch of hours at the store.  Followed by some fun fall festivities....Sunday actually, Lilly and I are heading to Pumpkin Town. Then, at the end of the month, we're off to DC! 

Its been too long...

...since a few things have occurred.

1. Since I last blogged.  I'm so ashamed.  I mean, who the hell am I to go get a job that I love and am obsessed with to the point that I am working when I'm not at work?  Oh, and to have a child too...and not blog because I'm spending time with her?  WHO DO I THINK I AM????? 

2. Since I've surfed the Internet for "deals".  I used to do this almost daily and was consistently receiving fun, free, or discounted, stuff.  So today I hop online and find a contest for FREE train tickets.  Not 1, but 2, round trip tickets, to and from anywhere Amtrak services.  Um....yes please.  So I entered.  I beg that you too enter to win...like Amtrak on facebook, do what it asks of you....if you win, consider donating them to Lilly and I. Thanks. In case you think, Oh, I'll do that - I know you'll forget so here's the link: Amtrak Ticket Give Away

3. Since I surfed the Internet for new recipes.  But lets face it....I've been slacking in the meal preparation department anyway.  For a while there I was posting recipes and photos daily...sometimes more than once a day.  So once again, I hop online today and start looking.  Tonight, thanks to the power of suggestion, we will be having tacos, refried beans with cheddar topping, Mexican rice and corn...for dessert, fried ice cream.  Yup.  Fried friggin' ice cream.  Be jealous followers.  Be jealous. 

4. Since I came down to the firehouse to just hang out.  So here I sit, waiting for the boys to return from a seizures/car into water call...they've been there for like 2 hours.  They should be back soon.

5. Since I was really truly happy with the direction life is going.  I finally love my job - I mean REALLY love what I do and who I do it with, my daughter and I are in a good spot thanks to the lovely Jodi Peterson and her awesome words, I'm baking cakes for fun - and getting recognized by people for it, and I'm getting ready to take a trip of a lifetime with Lilly to DC in October.  We're sleeping in the Natural History Museum...like "Night at the Museum" style on the floor in sleeping bags...its going to be so friggin' cool.  I wish I could tell her but I really want it to be a complete surprise.  Also, we're scheduled to have a PRIVATE tour of the White House on Saturday morning when we're down there and I owe that to some really great connections.  You know who you are - Thanks a million!

Check it out! 

6. Since I traveled away from home, without any of my family members, for an extended period of time.  On Friday I leave for Hyannis, MA for 12 days.  Granted, most of them are going to be 12-14 hour days filled with manual labor and sweat....but I'm going for work to show what I know...and its going to be a great experience.  I am just concerned that I'm really going to miss Lilly.  I have NEVER left her for more than a week.  12 days....that's a long time.  And while we're at it, the dog.  She gets nervous when I'm not home by "bed time"...never mind almost 2 weeks....this will be a test for all of us for sure.


That is all I can come up with right now.....if I think of anything else, check facebook and twitter...I'll be there.

8 Things to do with Your Children During A Hurricane....and During the Aftermath

So....a lot of you have already heard me bitch.  Its not that I lost power (because I didn't - I was lucky).  Its not about losing the Internet (because we don't subscribe to it at the house - that's why I pay more money for a smart phone).  Its not even that I can't watch the latest episode of Jersey Shore because my cable is out (because a. I don't watch Jersey Shore and 2. I didn't lose cable).  No....my bitch is about alllllll those assholes who didn't prepare for the storm, to be without power for 3-4 days like all the media "hyped it up" and are now complaining that their respective utility departments aren't moving fast enough.  I could go on again about my thoughts on the subject...but its a fight not worth battling.

Instead, I bring you, 8 fun things you could do with your children during a hurricane and the aftermath.  Realistically, these are thing you SHOULD be doing with your children ANYWAY.....but I digress....

1) READ with them.  During the day, there is sunlight.  Sunlight helps you see the words on the pages.  The pages do not require electricity.  Your children don't like to read??   Tough shit.  You're the parent, they're the children, make them read.  Its good for them.  They'll thank you later.

2) BUILD a fort.  No, I don't mean throw a blanket over a chair and call it a day.  I mean a state of the art fort involving SEVERAL blankets and chairs and clothes pins and flashlights and tunnels ans whatever the hell else you can think of.  Chances are you'll do most of the building but in 4 hours, your child will have a pretty sweet pad to sleep in for the night.

3) COLOR with your young children.  PAINT with them.  Pretend you're a world famous artist and teach them how to do like you do.  Have THEM teach YOU.  Have painting contests like: who can paint the prettiest flower or biggest truck - but with their eyes closed....with their left hand....

4) BUILD a cardboard city.  What is a cardboard city you ask?  Its exactly what it sounds like dumbass.  Cereal boxes, oatmeal containers....anything that's chillin' in the recycling container you brought inside so it doesn't blow away...instantly becomes something in your city.  Then, drive matchbox cars around your city.  Your child doesn't have matchbox cars?  Shame on you.  You fail as a parent.

5) PLAY dress up.  They put on your clothes....can you put on theirs???  Have a contest.  Who can put on the most pairs of pants at one time? 

6) START your Christmas list.  I have a shit load of fliers in my recycling (again, you brought it inside anyway remember?) that advertise everything from food to clothes to toys to Keurigs....{{Hint hint}}

7) PLAY shadow games.  As the day comes to an end, your house will get dark.  If you were prepared you have flashlights.  Do you know how to make shadow puppets?  Either do I.  Make it up.  Who the hell cares??

Finally,
8) In the days after the storm, there are going to be SEVERAL people you know - maybe not well - but you know them - who require assistance.  Get out with your children and HELP them.  Maybe an elderly neighbor's yard needs cleaning up.  Perhaps you have power but someone you know doesn't and won't for God knows how long - make them dinner and invite them over for a literal shit, shower, and shave.  I mean, you don't have to help with ALL those items...obviously....but a house with running water and a warm cooked meal is like gold right now.  Are you sharing?  If you all don't have power, gather the neighbors all up, light up your grill, and have a cookout.  You're not going to work, your kids don't have school, and the food is going to go bad anyway, right?

I'm leaving with a positive thought: “The happiest people I have known have been those who gave themselves no concern about their own souls, but did their uttermost to mitigate the miseries of others.” - Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Social Activist

 

8 Things I Learned This Week

So, this week I learned some interesting information.  Information I wouldn't consider highly intelligent, however very entertaining.  Here are 8 bits of said information.

1.  When you are considered the "nice" manager and you suddenly have to grow a set and tell your employees "You guys really need to stop shit chatting.  I don't know if you're aware but there are 26 boxes of shipment in the back that HAVE to get processed TODAY.  There's no time for socializing today," no matter what tone is used, you might as well have said, "Hey assholes.  Shut the fuck up and get to work because I'm not doing this shit all by myself," because that's the attitude response you get in return.

2. If you leave a buffalo chicken wrap on the arm of the couch and walk away, Maddie will eat it.  And then, when you do it again 4 days later, Maddie will in fact, eat it again. 

3.  Maddie prefers her kibble with a Tbsp of buffalo sauce and 2Tbsp of ranch dressing.

4. When you are in the shower on a Wednesday night around 9pm, and the fireworks at Mohegan Sun begin, it not only sounds like someone put a pair of work boots in the dryer, but it will also scare the crap out of you.

5. Neighbor C's house has been surprisingly quiet lately...its because http://www.jud2.ct.gov/crdockets/CaseDetail.aspx?source=Pending&Key=94b246ce-1d78-4ae8-a0f8-970056ab266f   Just FYI.

6. If you've ever had DCF called on you, you know that it sucks.  If you have nothing to hide its not bad because you know you're in the right.  Its just a pain in the ass.  If you've ever had to report someone to DCF you know that it is just a nerve wracking because as the reporter, you're not always kept in the loop.  If you've ever had to call DCF on a family member, you might as well pour the liquor while you're on the phone with them because you feel like an ass and an ogre the whole time....even if you know its the right thing to do.  I understand now the conflict it leaves you with when you are the caller.....

7. Assholes seem to flock to me.  The other day Lil and I stopped in Stop & Shop for a few items and a lady, quite intoxicated, kept hitting me on the arm behind me in line telling me to "hurryitup lady.  I gotta be paces."  Sure lady.  I'll step it up if you sober up.  Deal?

8. Finally, the saying "when the cats are away the mice will play" has never rung more true.  Lilly knows damn well she's only allowed to text so many times and make so many phone calls.  She also knows she is supposed to be in bed between 7:30 and 8:30 depending on both that day's activities and tomorrow's.  She called me just a few minutes ago....from Mimi's house...neither Mimi nor Grandpa knew she was up much less on the phone.....grrrr.....

That's all I have for tonight.  I made "Jam Surprise muffins" tonight because Gram wanted a jelly donut.  This was a close as I could get on short notice.  I'm going to go eat 2.....goodnight.

Neighbor C update....

Thought my followers might like this: Neighbor C's....whatever you wanna call him...and his current legal standings.


Oh good Lord.