It only seems reasonable...

1)...that my dog doesn't conform to "normal" dog development patterns.  She STILL chews everything...she STILL gets waaaayyyy to excited about silly things.  She still HATES the mail man and the couple that live across the street (of course, so do most of the neighbors.....)

2)...that I can't apply for a Pell Grant for culinary school because I already posses a Bachelor's degree.  I mean, why give me more money to further my education even further when we can so much more easily give federal money to unwed mothers of 5 children by five different baby-daddies who don't work at all and smoke a pack a day?  I'm just askin'......

3)...that it took me breaking into the office at the fire house (okay, technically I had a key but...I shouldn't have a key...and I don't know WHY i have a key...) to "fix" the Internet.  **SIDE NOTE: the INTERNET does not break people...the modem gets disconnected or a cable gets unplugged....or you don't pay your bill and the cable company shuts off your connection to the Internet.  If the actual Internet broke....well, it just can't okay....  In any event, 3 WEEKS AGO, I asked for someone to get the cable adapter from Comcast and to update the virus protection on the computer, AND no one did it.  I did.  Then, the Internet "broke" about a week ago and guess who fixed it..I did.  You're welcome. Idiots.....

4)...that I have 9 containers of children's clothes stock piled in my basement (after already giving away 4) in the event that I should have more children.  Its been 8 years....there's no more babies coming.  AAAANNNDD even if I do miraculously have more children, it'll  be so new that  there will be a shower and gifts and new styles and I'll end up getting new stuff anyway.  But there will not be any more children....

FINALLY, 5) it only seems reasonable that after 5 weeks of running 3 times per week, doing strengthening exercises 3 times per week, and cutting out a lot of refined sugars.....that I would remain the SAME EXACT FRIGGIN SIZE AND WEIGHT THAT I HAVE BEEN FOR MONTHS!!!  Ugh........I increased the calorie intake because I thought, well, maybe I'm not eating enough and I'm in starvation mode...    I cut back the calories because I thought maybe I'm just eating what I'm burning off and its not changing anything....  So frustrating.  Time for a personal trainer maybe??? But, being that I am the 12th alligator in a swamp built for 11....it only seems reasonable......

Easter

When did this holiday become a gift giving holiday?  I mean, aside from the jelly beans and chocolate bunnies, when did kids get to hand you a wish list for gifts?  Ridiculous!  I had a customer the other day who spent a little over $200 on clothes for a 3 year-old girl for Easter....gifts...not an outfit...not because she was less fortunate and needed clothes...but to put in her Easter basket along with the jelly beans and chocolate bunny.  That'll be the day.  Lilly is getting a new book (She gets them every other week anyway), jelly beans, and a plant - something she'll have to be responsible for - not just because it's a holiday but because we're trying to teach Lilly about responsibility and consequences.  Even then, I think the book should be separate. 

What are your thoughts on Easter gifts?

Random Thoughts from my Brain Tonight

Tonight is one of those nights when my brain is flooded with completely random thoughts.  Here, I will share a few.

First, I worked tonight and Tim felt it necessary to sing Britney Spears...outloud...and now I too, am singing Britney Spears. Here, have a listen:

Second, I disclosed some fairly private information to said Tim tonight...not because I felt he needed to know more than anyone else, but because I had to tell SOMEONE. It was one of those tidbits of information that were it as simple as "I won $1,000,000" you'd shout it from the roof tops but you can't really say anything yet, so the first person you see that you trust gets to be secret keeper. He better keep it secret....

Third, I promised Lilly that I wouldn't clean her room. That's right - I'm going to leave the massive piles of stuff exactly as is until she returns because "it's her room", and she can, "leave it a hot mess with toys everywhere", if she wants too. THIS IS KILLING ME! I CAN'T STAND IT! UGH!!!!

Fourth, I JUST realized Idol was on tonight and I missed it. That blows. I actually kind of like it this season. I missed it last week too. Ugh.

Fifth, I think I'm going running tomorrow morning if anyone would like to join me. Say....10 o'clock? Nothing big....30 minutes and home again. Let me know.

34897256038465, I bought gas today for the Jeep. I usually fill it at a half but I let it run allllll the way down this week. $78 later....Friggin' Jeep. Can't wait to get rid of it.
OK, I think I'm done. Lissa, I'm sorry this is a lame post.

MEANEST MOM EVER!

Ahhh parenthood.  The joy it brings to...oh please...this parenting stuff is HARD WORK!  And sometimes, I feel like the harder I try to be "a good parent", the more difficult my child gets.  Take for instance, last Saturday.  I picked Lilly up from Cait's only to learn that Lilly was, in essence, PMSing, and was bitchy as all get out.  Great.  So this continued all evening and into Sunday.  Well, I repeatedly have to ask Lilly to do very complicated tasks such as brush your teeth, pick up your dirty laundry, take a shower....get dressed into CLEAN clothes (I swear sometimes she's a boy).  So, Sunday I repeat myself again, only to discover that because she was too involved in a highly educational episode of SpongeBob, she missed the tag of "We're going to the dog park, put on the play clothes I put out for you," and comes dressed to the nines....wearing the dame undershirt and underpants she had on the night before.  Her hair wasn't combed, and her boots, were just that, boots, not her play sneakers.  So I sent her BACK to her room to start over.  Much commotion and tears later, she's ready to go and I am mean.  Well, this pissed me right the frig off so, being the mean mom that I am, took away the computer, DSi, and TV for a week, called Cait and said none of those things could be used at her house either, and was done with it.  (THIS DID NOT, I repeat, DID NOT, go over well). 

Fast forward to yesterday.  Its Sunday, its sunny, its 56 degrees outside.  We're going out.  Well, all she did was bitch and moan about how "its too bright" and she "didn't even have shades on" and all she wanted to do was "play in my room away from you".....well,this again, ticked me off, so the more she complained, the longer we stayed out.  Two hours later, I decide its lunch time so we can go in - BUT, we need to shower.  "Are you serious Mama?  I hate taking showers.  I took one yesterday!" (before playing outside Saturday night and today).  Just get in the dang shower Lilly.  This branded me "THE MEANEST MOM EVER" title.  One I wear with pride.  If I'm the meanest mom ever because I made you play outside in the sunshine and made you take a shower before feeding you lunch, call DCF and be done with it. 

The kicker is that 4 hours later, I'm being told I'm so awesome because apparently I agreed to throw a birthday party for Kristen Stewart this Saturday.  Yes.  An actress.  That we don't know.  Because Lilly is obsessed with her this month and read alllllll about her in TigerBeat Magazine.  She spent about an hour with my mom at her store yesterday and came home with Twilight themed paper goods and everything.  Also, I will be preparing Miss Stewart's favorites for this party..........which will consist of myself, my 65 year-old mother, and Lilly, in attendance.  But I'm the meanest mom ever right????  

UGH.  The joys of parenting    :-)