Hello...Good-bye...oops...

Today was a very bizarre day for me. But, in order to tell my story, there needs to be some back story.

So, I'll reference the Maddie story from My Sister Karma.....you know, the one where I tell you the dog is friggin' crazy and has eaten all my shoes? So the other day I ran into TJMaxx and found a cute pair of Nine West heels for like $10. I needed them for Grape's (Todd's grandmother, Nana the Great, or Grape to Lilly) funeral. So, $10 heels in hand, I left the store. Ok, so with the heels I planned on wearing a *classic* black sleeveless dress with tights. The tights I got at the Gap (duh) for $4.50. The dress, I've had but haven't fit into since I had Lilly....8 years ago.

Also, we need to know that I have a friend named Martha. We've been friends for 15 years now. We swam together in 1996 at NFA and then reunited through the East Great Plain and Laurel Hill fire departments in Norwich. We worked together at Groton Ambulance and Gap.

Ok. Back to today. So I needed to leave this morning by 9:30am in order to get coffee and gas, and make it to Grape's funeral by 11. Well, my dress fit perfectly, except I couldn't zip it myself...I'm not a contortionist. So then I opened my tights, and.....big hole in them. Great. It's 38 degrees and I'm in my pretzel dress and hole-filled tights. So then I grab my shoes and ling story short, the right shoe is smaller than the left one. Great. Great great great. Ugh....so I get in the car go to get my coffee (which I get successfully with my handy dandy D&D card) and head to the had station...only to discover that my debit card...is at the gap in my locker with a few other things I out there yesterday while working so I wouldn't forget them. That worked out well right? So I'm now wearing shoes that are too small, in holey tights, with my dress half zipped and driving with less than a 1/4 tank of gas. So I stop at my mom's shop (because gap is 20 minutes in the opposite direction) and borrow some cash. A lot of swearing and mumbling under my breath later, I arrive at the church JUST as the funeral is getting underway.

The rest of that part remained flawless. From there (Bristol) I head to Yale to visit Martha and her triplets. Yup. Three mini Martha's joined the world Sunday at midnight, midnight, and 1 minute after midnight. This part of the story is only filled with awws and oohs. I have pictures but I can't upload them to this page just yet.  EDIT: Here are the much anticipated pictures I promised.  The first three are the day they were born, and the next set is 3 days later.  So stinkin small but yet so stink cute!

Mackensie Leigh     2lb0oz     13.75" 

Madison Lynn     2lb 11oz     15.5"

Morgan Lacey     2lb 13oz     15.75"

Mackensie a.k.a. The Little One

Madison a.k.a. The Twin (to Mackensie)

Morgan a.k.a. The Grabber and/or The Big One

So I left the hospital 2 hours later and headed home. I got to Old Lyme and guess what? The friggin gas light comes on. My options are go to gap and grab my debit card then find a gas station and pray I don't run out of gas.....or head home and pray I don't run out of gas. I should pray more often because obviously, I'm not doing it right. So, I called trusty ol' ma, met her at a gas station, and rectified the fuel issue. Tomorrow, I will be a) going to the gap, b) getting a debit card in my moms name just in case I lose mine, and c) learning how to pray.

I finally got home around 6:45pm, only to remember.....I was supposed to be at Lilly's school at 6pm. Oops?!?!?

Cupcakes. Dresses, and Laundry

So, I recently enquired about attending culinary school. I love to cook but could always stand to learn actual usable, definable techniques. The good news is that I would most definitely be accepted. I may have to sell my left leg to get there but that's OK right? God gave me two for a reason and its not like I cook with my feet....OK so maybe I'm going to have to work out the logistics a little beyond limb donation but at least there's a plan in motion. Just think, for your next function, you could be considering me as your caterer! Wouldn't that be fantastic??

Also in the works, are cupcakes for Lilly's school basket social April 2nd.  I recently had a bananas foster dessert and thought...hmmmm....how can I make this a cupcake?  Then I was watching Paula Deen this morning a lady from some cupcake book made TV Dinner Cupcakes and they were soooo freakin' cute I thought I could do that!  So, with bananas, some other ingredients, yellow candy melts, and (hopefully) enough time, I'll be banging out 4 dozen Bananas Foster cupcakes.....we'll see.  (Stay posted...if they're awesome enough, I'll post them here and on Facebook.)

So, after i decided this, I moved on to making Lilly's first communion dress.  Yeah, that's right, I know how to sew too!  I made her baptismal gown so it only seemed fitting that I'd bang out her communion dress too.  I went to Jo-Ann's to browse patterns and discovered a few things: 1) a 3-day sale at a fabric store means chaos filled with crazy quilting women....2) pattern selections for communion style dresses is VERY SLIM, and 3) unless you know what you're looking for, shopping at said fabric store during a 3-day sale is kind of like trying to find your lost contact lens in a swimming pool that has a water aerobics class going on.  Just sayin'.......In any event, the pattern and materials were purchased and tomorrow morning I will begin this venture....I'm hoping it only takes me the weekend (I didn't select a complicated pattern but I DO have a complicated child....)  Here's a preview of the dress that will be:

YEAH RIGHT!  LIKE I'D SHOW IT TO YOU BEFORE HAND!  WHAT IF IT SUCKS??????

Anyway, this topic brings us to laundry.  Have you ever noticed that laundry and dishes are very much related??? I mean, you could spend allllllll day making sure you've washed every last one but ultimately, THERE'S ALWAYS ONE LEFT.  And then, that one can't be lonely so he finds a friend...and before you know it the hamper is overflowing and the sink is full again.  With that horrible depressing thought, I'll leave you to read someone else's blog.  Oh and hey, have you "Followed this blog yet????".....no?....WHY THE HELL NOT????

Smart Ass

My daughter has always been my pride and joy. She's also the very exact duplicated version of me as an adult but in child form. As a kid I cried in public because too many people made me nervous. I could never stand up in front of a crowd but not Lilly. She's not afraid of anyone or anything really. Which is where the concern comes in.

Several times over the last few weeks she has busted out with random one liners. The first one I took note of was when she asked me (with the most disgusted look on her face) why my pants were wrinkled. Keep in mind they were navy/white striped wide leg trousers that are very much a spring item so they've been folded for at least 7 months. Factor in weight gain/loss and that makes them folded for say........4 years. The bottom 2 inches were a little wrinkled. Shoot me. Anyhow, I said to Lilly, "I am too lazy to iron maybe?" Which was meant more as a reflective question to myself like, yeah asshole, why are you leaving the house with wrinkly pants? than it was a sarcastic response to her question. Fast forward 9 hours. She's getting ready for bed and putting her book back on the nightstand and I ask, somewhat frustrated with her, "Lilly why are your dirty clothes always on the floor? Why do I constantly have to ask you to put them away?" I expected something along the lines of "I don't know." You know - the typical 8 year-old response - but instead I got, "Maybe I'm too lazy to pick it up." I'll give you a minute to absorb that one.

The next remark of note is from last night. We went out to dinner and because she's 8 now she for some reason thinks this entitles her to wear make-up in public. Whatever. Pick your battles. So we're sitting at the table, orders placed, and she asks to be excused to the bathroom. Like I'm gonna just let her go by herself. I agreed to escort her to the bathroom where she peed, removed her undershirt (because it was *suddenly* uncomfortable), and redid her make-up. I just stood there all the while letting this happen and making sure no one kidnapped her. At one point I made the mistake of asking, "Do you want me to help you with that?" She looked at me (with the same disgusted look as previously described) and said with all seriousness, "Mama, no offense, but you don't have the same style I do. Yours is more...old." Hurry up and finish kid before I flush the contents of your purse and make you wash your face.

Ahhhh childhood. So young. So innocent. Such a smartass. But, like my grandmother used to say, "Its better to be a smartass than a dumbass."

And so it begins.

So we walk into the health fair, Kim, Lissa, and myself, and immediately sign up for the door raffle prizes. I tell Kim that she entered twice and she's not allowed to win. Moving on, we try the dip, drop it on the floor, take information for yoga classes that we'll never go to and then we saunter over to the lotion lady. Kim and Lissa have the oily skin problem but I have the dry skin. Very much like an alligator. A huge, heavy, pissed off, dry alligator. Figures. Why can't I be a soft, cuddly bear...nah, then I'd be hairy and fat and let's face it, that's way less attractive than a pissed off alligator. So Kim and Lissa take their oily skin and I my dry skin, and we head down for the free massage. Yup. Free. AWESOME!!! As we're sitting there waiting, the names are drawn for the (11) door prizes. Kim won one...even though in my book she totally cheated...and Lissa won one...and I'm waiting for my name (because there are about 15 people there total) and....nothing. Come to find out there were 12 people there - guess who was the 12th one and only person not to receive a door prize?? Yup. Me. So at the end of the day I was "a day late and a dollar short" only.......a prize-less, dry-skinned, pissed off alligator. And so begins the story of my life.......blog-style.