Smart Ass

My daughter has always been my pride and joy. She's also the very exact duplicated version of me as an adult but in child form. As a kid I cried in public because too many people made me nervous. I could never stand up in front of a crowd but not Lilly. She's not afraid of anyone or anything really. Which is where the concern comes in.

Several times over the last few weeks she has busted out with random one liners. The first one I took note of was when she asked me (with the most disgusted look on her face) why my pants were wrinkled. Keep in mind they were navy/white striped wide leg trousers that are very much a spring item so they've been folded for at least 7 months. Factor in weight gain/loss and that makes them folded for say........4 years. The bottom 2 inches were a little wrinkled. Shoot me. Anyhow, I said to Lilly, "I am too lazy to iron maybe?" Which was meant more as a reflective question to myself like, yeah asshole, why are you leaving the house with wrinkly pants? than it was a sarcastic response to her question. Fast forward 9 hours. She's getting ready for bed and putting her book back on the nightstand and I ask, somewhat frustrated with her, "Lilly why are your dirty clothes always on the floor? Why do I constantly have to ask you to put them away?" I expected something along the lines of "I don't know." You know - the typical 8 year-old response - but instead I got, "Maybe I'm too lazy to pick it up." I'll give you a minute to absorb that one.

The next remark of note is from last night. We went out to dinner and because she's 8 now she for some reason thinks this entitles her to wear make-up in public. Whatever. Pick your battles. So we're sitting at the table, orders placed, and she asks to be excused to the bathroom. Like I'm gonna just let her go by herself. I agreed to escort her to the bathroom where she peed, removed her undershirt (because it was *suddenly* uncomfortable), and redid her make-up. I just stood there all the while letting this happen and making sure no one kidnapped her. At one point I made the mistake of asking, "Do you want me to help you with that?" She looked at me (with the same disgusted look as previously described) and said with all seriousness, "Mama, no offense, but you don't have the same style I do. Yours is more...old." Hurry up and finish kid before I flush the contents of your purse and make you wash your face.

Ahhhh childhood. So young. So innocent. Such a smartass. But, like my grandmother used to say, "Its better to be a smartass than a dumbass."