Saturday evening was a dinner fundraiser for Cam's baseball team, the CT Capitals. It was held in Glastonbury at the Irish American hall...kind of like the Polish club but, well, Irish. In any event, we discovered last minute (thank God we found it out too) that it was a "casual" event. Well, apparently a few in attendance missed that memo. Some of the outfits these women were wearing were incredible. Picture this dress:
On any one of these bodies:
Okay, so maybe not that bad...... That's who was dining and dancing with us Saturday night. You see, SOME of the guests were parents of the players. The MAJORITY were people who bought tickets at $50 a hit to attend. There were at least 60 people there who didn't even have kids much less ever watched a 12U baseball game....ever. Oh, and did I mention there was open bar....all night????? EXCELLENT! Let's get these cougars DRUNK! The average age of the women in attendance was about 45. More makeup, hair product, and plastic was there than woman. They were throwing drinks back like they were water, hardly eating (gotta keep up the girlish figure), and then...the band started. Man oh man. The band was Major Motion and the lead singer made it look as though he wanted to.......well.....ya know....every broad in the room. And trust me, every broad in the room was eating this up. Well, in between sets the DJ played Latin music. Why? I don't know. But the cougars LOVED this. They were out there swaying their fat asses like it was their job.....thank HEAVENS it wasn't. {{insert vomit sound here}} It was horrible. At the end of the night, there was one women, who came alone, and nobody claimed to know....dancing all by herself on the dance floor. Now, in order to appreciate this I need to do a visual....{the comments I post next are not intended to judge, make fun of, or disrespect people with special needs in anyway and therefore, I apologize ahead of time if it does} Picture if you will, a heavyset 40 something, hair in a 1980's banana clip - most of which has fallen out of the clip, stained pants from a spilled drink, and black Sketchers Shape Ups.... Now, give this woman CP (I know...I'm sorry....truly, truly sorry) aaannnnddddd cue the music. It looked like she was having a friggin seizure. And because no one knew her, or claimed to know her, no one stopped her...allllllll night. So Frankenstein-the-woman proceeded to dance her heart out. Finally, at the end of the night, someone saw her home. God bless her. We left after the raffle....thoroughly entertained. Well worth the $50. Well worth it.
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