Yogurt and Sass

So all of you who have read any of my blog posts or even Facebook status updates know that Lilly, no matter how much I love her, can be a royal pain in the you-know-what.  Most of the time, she's this sweet, caring, give the shirt off her back little girl who just wants to love and be loved.  Sometimes, however, she's......well......a sassy little witch.  (SMH)

So let's get the whole story as to why this is important.  On Sunday, I realized we were out of peanut butter and since Lilly pretty much only eats peanut butter sandwiches for lunch at school, this meant we had to run to the store to buy some.  NBD, off to ShopRite we go, grab some peanut butter and other such things, and home again.  Monday, she was ridiculous in the morning: put her shirt on inside out, socks were all smooshed in her shoes which were untied, hair not brushed.....just a hot mess.  Anyway, I packed her a peanut butter sandwich, strawberries, fruit snacks, yogurt, and 2 chocolate chip cookies.  Now, the rule in our house(s) is that if you come home with a practically full lunch box, you either eat what's left for dinner, or tomorrow that's what you bring to school again.  Also, if something new is presented to you, you must at least try it and decide whether or not you like it.  Well, when Lilly came home from school Monday, all that was missing were the fruit snacks and cookies.  So needless to say, the rest were dinner for her.  WEEEELLLLLL....this just pissed her right the hell off.  Screaming and crying and carrying on about how she hated that yogurt (new flavor BTW) and it was disgusting and blah blah blah...she was sent to her room TWICE to pull herself together and both times.......EPIC FAILURE. 

So round three I went to get her and all I said was, "Lilly, I just want you to try the yogurt.  That's all.  Just try it." Well, if that little girl didn't look me SQUARE IN THE FACE and say, "I don't care what you want.  I don't want to try it so I'm not gonna. {insert giggle here}."

(dramatic pause to let you GASP outloud.................................) Were she an adult speaking like that to me, I'd have probably punched her.  No worries though, I took a deep breath, gathered my anger in a neat little ball of fire in the pit of my stomach, and walked outside.  About 10 minutes later, with a lowered blood pressure, I went to Lilly's door and said the following in the coolest, calmest, scariest Mom voice I have ever used: I want you to get up, go to the table, and eat your dinner.  You will eat every last bite of your sandwich, your strawberries, and your yogurt.  When you're done, I'm going to give you another yogurt.  And should you ever speak to me like you just did, ever, EVER again, the Lord as my witness, I will make your punishment so severe that you will never utter another word to me other than yes ma'am and no ma'am for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

A little harsh? Maybe. Did it get the point across? Sure the hell did.

So she walks to the table, sits down, takes a bite of the yogurt and says with ALL KINDS OF EXCITEMENT, "Mama! This tastes like Rita's!"....................................Lord help me....

Until next time.