Ummm.....Duh.

So everyone knows that I can be a wee bit sarcastic at times. But today, I'm pretty sure I took the cake. 1. I'm unsteadily balancing atop a 6ft folding ladder with shoe hooks in my pocket, boot clips on my sweater, a bracket in my left hand, a sign hanging out of my mouth, a hammer in my right hand, banging a bracket out of the wall when a customer approaches and asks, "Are you busy?".................really dumbass?? "Not at all.  Just hanging out. What can I do for you?" 2. As I'm unpacking a huge box of jewelry, wearing the rue21 lanyard, and placing said jewelry into the walls - "Excuse me, do you work here?"    "Nope."     She walked away folks...... 3. At the cashwrap I'm explaining the "buy a fragrance, enter to win a $500 gift card" promo when the customer asks, "What are my odds if winning?" "Well, that depends on the number of entries."  "How many people will enter?"............."4783, but 2 won't count." 4. My boss told me to have fun today.  There's a photo attached to this somewhere.... 5. At 5:59 a lady walks into the store and says, "Just give me a 5 minute warning." Confused, an associate says, "Warning for what?" She stated she just needed to grab one thing but she knew were closing soon and to give her a warning when we were closing. So IIIIIIIII said, "Well, you're about 5 minutes late; we're closing now." She sighed the MOST RIDICULOUS OVER DRAMATIC SIGH, so I said, "You can finish up though."  At 6:27 she said, "You guys should get a steamer, for your coats, but that would mean more work for you so forget I said that," but with a sarcastic tone.....naturally I jumped on this with, "Perhaps we could have someone come in a half hour after we close and do it for us."  She left. Happy rueDay.

Happy Halloween

This year was one of the first years that Lilly and I went trick-or-treating in Gram's neighborhood.  I was a little disappointed when while we were out, I discovered that a) so few people were out with us, b) so few people were handing out candy, and c) that Neighbor C was out...with her children...and their children...whom we ran into.  Here's a tidbit of our conversation:

Me: Oh, hi there.  Having fun?
NC: You could say that.  Just out wit the grand kids.
Me: That's fun!
NC: Only 4 more years with mine and then the neighborhood will be quiet.
Me: Are you guys moving? I'm confused.
MC: No.  My youngest turns 18 in four years and then all my kids will be out. Finally. I can't fuckin' take much of their shit anymore.  (In front of Lilly)
Me: Oh...well...good luck with that...we're going to go get more candy.

Keep in mind, we looked like this:

Lilly is a punk rocker 80's pop star..I am the queen.
(Actually, when a friend asked and there were no children around, I was the effin' queen LOL)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

And then we slept...

Ok.  Really we did a lot of things before we slept, but eventually Lilly and I attended the Smithsonian Sleepover in the Museum of Natural History.  If you ever get a chance to participate in such an event, please PLEASE take part.  Not only was it fun and a great bonding experience for Lilly and I, it was highly educational. 

We arrived about 6:45pm and checked in.  Now, I received an email Wednesday afternoon stating there would be a costume contest and participants - young and old, were invited to dress as something on display within the museum.  I posted on facebook....I asked around...and finally came up "The Hope Diamond".  How? You ask.  Like this:


Lilly as the Hope Diamond and myself as Evelyn Walsh McLean

Awesome right??  I stayed up to God damned 3:30 in the morning Thursday night making these costumes, along with the orange jack o'lanterns and pineapple ghosts for her class.  3:30 in the morning folks.  Why?  Not because I'm an overachiever looking for attention as some people may have suggested but because your children are only children for so long and its fun.  Its healthy harmless life lesson teaching fun and why the hell shouldn't I?

Unfortunately, I was the only one who saw it this was as we were the only family to dress up.  One mom wore cat ears and her kids had generic princess costumes on...not exactly what the email said....so they cancelled the contest and Lilly and I trampled around the museum like that all night.  I didn't care.  We were awesome and we knew it.

Ok.  So then we had orientation and a little snack of fresh fruit and crackers and coffee (for the grown-ups) and juice boxes and then separated into groups.  Our group met with Indiana Jane first who gave us a tour of the Human Origins exhibit.  What made it perfect was that she only showed PARTS of the HUGE exhibit and then had additional artifacts in her bag that the kids could handle and see and really get an appreciation for what they were learning about.  Then, they got to do a hands on craft and take it with them.  And candy. Because it was Halloween weekend ;-)  After that, we went from exhibit to exhibit, self guided, using a fun workbook.  Each exhibit had a page or two in the book that required the kids to read and pay attention but not in a boring way.  We hunted for mammals across the globe, dug for gems, ate like a T-Rex (think "look Ma! No hands!) it was sooo fun!  Afterwards, we changed into our pj's, waked around the museum barefoot to the IMAX theater, where we watched a 3-D film about orangutan and elephant rescues...and then made our way back to the Oceans exhibit.  We slept on the floor.  Under the right whale.  Well, the right whale tale...in case it fell....per Lilly.  I REALLY summarized it but the pictures are better.

Indiana Jane showing some artifacts.

Making her own mud cloth.

After learning about bioluminescence...we made our own sea floor creatures that use such a thing to see.

Experimenting with artificial whale blubber and ice water.

Eating like a T-Rex...no hands...attacking a campfire marshmallow!

Making Egyptian hieroglyphic necklaces.



In the morning we planned on touring DC further but Lilly was too tired...and so was I...so we headed home and that story was already posted...remember - "Mama, he looks cold!"

Our Trip to DC

In an effort to keep this story fresh and entertaining, I limited my facebook interaction the whole trip.  The story is long but its hysterical in parts...in most parts actually.  This is part one of the trip...the travel down there, our interactions in the museums, and the trip home.  Part two is the Smithsonian Sleepover which is dedicated to another post.  Read on my friends.


So, according to Google maps, it takes approximately 7 hours to travel by car with traffic, to Washington DC from my house. 

Norwich --> DC

So, I planned on leaving about 11pm Friday night to allow us PLENTY of time for traffic and pee stops.  By 9:45pm, Lilly was rearing to go, and honestly, so was I, so we headed out.  I stopped for fuel and coffee and were on the road at 10:01pm.  We got from Norwich to the “Welcome to New York” sign in just over an hour an a half.  Excellent!  We’re making fantastic time.  At this rate, we’re going to get to DC at like 4am…hmmm…..Oh, wait…spoke too soon.  As it turns out, Friday night is an acceptable time to close the New York thruway to ONE FRIGGIN’ LANE.  ONE LANE FOLKS!!  Took us 3 hours to get from  “Welcome to New York” to “Welcome to New Jersey”….there goes that whole making good time thing.  And then, just to add insult to injury, the freaking Jersey Turnpike is closed.  CLOSED.  Not one lane.  Not dead stop traffic.  Get-off-the-highway-drive-through-east-bum-nowhere-Jersey closed.  Fabulous.  We finally arrived at a rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike capable of traveling on the turnpike at 3am.  Ridiculous.  5 hours to get to God damned New Jersey.  Ugh....so we stopped and peed and I decided a little cat nap in the car with the car running for heat.  Two and a half hours later....thank goodness I was in a car that conserves energy when just idling.  So, at 5:30am, we headed off again.  Long story short(er), we arrived in DC at 9:00am, parked for $15 for the day and proceeded to head toward the National Mall. 


Now, being that it was October 29th, you'd think maybe it was a little chilly.  Nope.  It was FREEZING COLD at 33 degrees, and raining and windy....we were soaked.  We walked into a Dunkin' Donuts to grab a quick breakfast...and promptly turned around when I discovered that every homeless person in the immediate area was ALSO in the Dunkin' Donuts.  So, we continued toward the Mall and found mecca - Starbucks.  There's NO homeless in there.  In we go.  Restroom, scone, iced grande skinny mocha latte no whip, and an OJ later, we headed to the National Air and Space Museum.  There's no real stories in there other than Lilly and I thought it was cool....here's some photos though:

Investigating in the "What makes Things Move" exhibit

Inside of a space shuttle area....

The signs are self explanatory.

Next, we walked over to the National Museum of the American Indian.  Now, for those of you who don't know, Lilly is a member of the Osage Indian tribe...1/32 to be exact.  Enough for recognition, not enough for funds.  It is a very small tribe based out of Oklahoma.  Here's some more information Osage Nation  We actually found a children's book titles Meet Christopher: the tale of an Osage Indian boy from Oklahoma which naturally we picked up.  While we were there, we investigated the new Horse exhibit...right up Lilly's alley.  Then, there was an exhibit for kids just being put together...here's some photos of that:

Playing the Quiz Game

Basket weaving...REALLY BIG BASKETS

What animal sound am I?

Building an igloo

Our new house!!!

Down in the central rotunda of the museum, there were some women demonstrating bead work.  They were showing how they make beaded jewelry, wall hangings, horse face masks, all kinds of things.  Both women were wearing dragonfly earrings and necklaces.  Lilly immediately noticed and started chatting with them about how our family believes the native American belief that dragonflies are the souls of the deceased and that Daddy comes to visit ALL THE TIME in the form of a dragonfly.  I can't begin to tell you the number of times that Todd  flew in for family celebrations and such...and just hung out...its incredible.  So the ladies thought it was fascinating and they spoke with Lilly for quite a bit of time.  As we were leaving, one of them tapped Lilly on the shoulder and stating, "Anyone who has a connection as strong as you, should have this," and took her necklace off her own neck and handed it to Lilly.  Lilly was speechless, I was crying, and the woman just smiled and walked away.

Next, we went over to investigate the National Museum of Natural History quickly.  We also ate lunch in the Fossil Cafe....a $30 lunch that consisted of a salad, a bowl of soup, a roast beef sandwich, two sodas, and a rice crispy brick:

The only photo I will share NOW from this museum is of the Hope Diamond...the best piece for us in the whole museum...

After this we walked over to the National Museum of American History...and my phone died and the camera was in the car...so there are no more pictures.  There is however, an funny little story.  As we left the museum, we decided we would take the Metro from the Smithsonian, to the L'Enfant Station, transferring to the Red line, and then to Chinatown, which is very close to where we were parked.  Welllll.............neither Lilly nor I were really paying all that good of attention and a 10-15 min subway ride ended up being like 45 minutes...LOL.  Oops.  Hey...it was fun.  Also, we got a great view of the Washington Monument in the snow...yup...SNOW.  Who'd a thunk it..."I'mmmmmmm.....dreaming....of a white.....Halloween...????"   Anyway, back at the car, cold, wet, tired, and anxious, we drove to the Natural History Museum, received our special parking permit, and began the next phase of our journey...which I will post about later, as I have Gnomeo and Juliet cupcakes and a messy bedroom that require my attention. First I will enlighten you about our trip HOME.  Once again, it started off in a gas station refueling...in Washington DC...at 9am...on a Sunday.  Should be mellow right?  Hahahahah....we walk into the station (because I wanted a bottle of water too) and standing at the counter is a male dressed in drag wearing a VERY short skirt and fishnets.  Now, I'm pretty liberal so this bothers me none.  Lilly sees him...or her...whatever...looks at me and says (while I'm praying its nothing offensive), "Mama, he looks cold!"  Before I could even think of a response he/she turned around and says, "Little one, you have no idea! Tights was not smart honey."  Lilly giggled, he/she smiled, and we refueled.  After that, it took 6 and half hours to get home, no traffic at all....and was actually a very boring ride.   Ok, cupcake time.

A Few Happy Thoughts

For those of you who know me, you know that I'm EXTREMELY SERIOUS all the time. Hahahahahaha....ah yeah right. I crack myself up. I'm probably one of the most sarcastic people you know who, at any function, will find the appropriate time to get at least ONE wise crack in. I thought I'd highlight some of today's witty one-liners. 1. To the 7000th person who asked "do you have a fitting room?" I replied, "yep.".......awkward silence...."oh, would you like a room?" 2. To the girl who said, "I really like your store but its nothing like the Forever 21 I was in in Jersey.", I replied, "Thank friggin gawd. That place is dump." She's probably still confused.... 3. "Are your scents hypoallergenic?" "My scents are...because my body produces them. The fragrances I sell, on the otherhand, are not." 4. "Can you break a $10?" "No but I can rip it." 5. To the gentleman who asked why I don't sell men's underwear I replied, "Because I don't know how to sew them." Ahhh.....sarcasm. How I love thee.

O. M. F. G.......an email rant...

Have you ever had one if those days that looks stellar in pictures and in Facebook status updates but in reality your anxiety level is through the roof and you're just waiting to explode and then when you finally climb into bed the goddamn cat decides he's gonna start lapping up some water which drives you absolutely bankers because all you can hear is the lap, lap, lap of the cat drinking and because you can't stand that sound and your anxiety level is so high you'd really like to boot the damn cat outside for the night but seeing as how its your mom's precious friggin cat you can't boot it outside or else she'll boot the dog out which is totally unfair because what the hell did the dog do? Welcome to my current mental status. Annnddd people wonder why I used to smoke......maybe drinking. Maybe I'll start drinking.......

12 Days on the Cape

As most of you know by now, I just spent 12 days in Cape Cod.  Hyannis to more specific.  How do you know this?  Because I let you know REPEATEDLY on Facebook while I was up there.  If you didn't know I went, well, then you follow me on here but aren't on Facebook...ever. 

My first  "day" on the Cape involved me taking my rental car - a 2011 Doge Caliber - to the new rue21 store in the Cape Cod Mall (well, the parking lot), being handed the keys to the store gate that couldn't be pulled down because we didn't have a gate hook....or a window front yet....and then heading to Main St with a few other store managers for dinner.  Yup.  That's it. 

So Saturday morning started with everyone meeting in the new store to "take the truck" which basically means hard physical labor of unloading a 53' tractor trailer box by box by box until the truck is empty.  Then...the rest of the weekend was kind of boring...unpacking boxes...folding, hanging, sensoring product...basically making the store look like a store.  Oh, Monday too.  13 hours a day for 3 days.....needless to say, I was a cranky bitch.  Luckily for all involved, I managed to land the "extra" room as there were an odd number of females on the trip and I was there the longest.  Kari from Albemarle, NC was there for 6 days, everyone else 3-4, I was there for 12...I BETTER get the solo room.  This is what it looked like:

My home away from Home.  Those mattresses were like fluffy clouds they were so soft and squishy...sounds glorious...unless you're like me and have a bad back....

On Tuesday, I was fortunate to have the day off.  So what did I do with myself?  I did what anyone would do when being paid to be in Cape Cod with a day off and 70 degree weather in October - I hopped the ferry to Martha's Vineyard, took the bus to the southwestern most point on the island where the bus only comes once every 2 hours....and hid for 4 hours.  Hahahahahahahah!!!!!  Suckas!

The sight rolling into the harbor.

My bus ride view heading down to Gay Head...my bus driver was
a volunteer fire fighter.  Awesome-sauce.

View from Gay Head.

The lighthouse at Gay Head.

Walking onto the beach....it was 70 degrees...in October...did I mention this already?

As you can see, Martha's Vineyard in the off season is VERY crowded.

Ahhh yes....working very hard.  Thank you rue21!

Ok, so Wednesday I came back to  reality and subsequently back to work.  Which wasn't supposed to be until 4pm.  I went in at noon and lucky for me....they - the Regional Director of the company, the District Manager, and all the visiting support staff, were breaking for lunch...on the RD's ticket.  "Hey Carrie!  Want to join us?"   I contemplating declining.  You know, I had the day off the day before, technically I wasn't even supposed to be there....but really?  Who in their right mind would refuse a lunch you're being invited to by your boss and your boss's boss???  So I went.  It was so tasty.  We ate at Joe's.  I had the California Bacon Blue pizza....Kari (from Albemarle) had the Buffalo Chicken Pizza...I took both left overs home (well, to the Holiday Inn).

After lunch, I returned to the store, helped put the finishing touches on the store and attended the new store staff meeting.  Every new store opening we do a video that introduces the staff.  As luck would have it, I didn't HAVE to participate.  But, there was also a new fragrance launch corresponding to this opening and they needed a stand-in....here I am:

I know..INTENSE right??? 

Thursday marked the opening of the new rue21, store #1058 Hyannis...here's my windows:

Looks good right???  Thanks. :-)  First time I executed windows BY MYSELF!  Woohoo!  (I know that sounds a little lame but if you work in retail, you get it - you need a second set of hands most of the time).

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday was kind of a blur.  I was the "acting store manager" in a town I was quickly learning wasn't all sunshine and roses in the off-season....I had to learn new tasks by myself and then communicate those skills to a limited staff....hire new employees and communicate with the Home Office with a down fax machine to work with...issues with the alarm company, that apparently, didn't like the fact that I was a visiting manager with limited security knowledge...issues with the contractors...issues with IT....issues with teenagers as employees....it was, at best, overwhelming, but I managed. 

Tuesday, I went into the store for the last time as the big guy...or gal...and received a coffee from one employee and a butterfinger bar (MY FAVORITE!!!!) from another.  Oh, and hugs.  THEY LIKED ME!  THEY REALLY LIKED ME!!!  Lol.   I was loved there but, it wasn't home.  And I needed to be home.  So, I left 1058 and prayed like hell that they swam...didn't sink...and met my baby at home.

Apparently I am loved at home too because Kelsey and Jared came over, and put this little number together with Lilly:



Notice the caution tape...and my dilapidated fence...my house officially looks like an abandoned home.

And then, after dinner, I was presented with cake.  That Lilly and my mom baked together....and Lilly decorated:

Best freakin' cake I've ever been given!

So that's it folks!  Next up is a bunch of hours at the store.  Followed by some fun fall festivities....Sunday actually, Lilly and I are heading to Pumpkin Town. Then, at the end of the month, we're off to DC! 

Its been too long...

...since a few things have occurred.

1. Since I last blogged.  I'm so ashamed.  I mean, who the hell am I to go get a job that I love and am obsessed with to the point that I am working when I'm not at work?  Oh, and to have a child too...and not blog because I'm spending time with her?  WHO DO I THINK I AM????? 

2. Since I've surfed the Internet for "deals".  I used to do this almost daily and was consistently receiving fun, free, or discounted, stuff.  So today I hop online and find a contest for FREE train tickets.  Not 1, but 2, round trip tickets, to and from anywhere Amtrak services.  Um....yes please.  So I entered.  I beg that you too enter to win...like Amtrak on facebook, do what it asks of you....if you win, consider donating them to Lilly and I. Thanks. In case you think, Oh, I'll do that - I know you'll forget so here's the link: Amtrak Ticket Give Away

3. Since I surfed the Internet for new recipes.  But lets face it....I've been slacking in the meal preparation department anyway.  For a while there I was posting recipes and photos daily...sometimes more than once a day.  So once again, I hop online today and start looking.  Tonight, thanks to the power of suggestion, we will be having tacos, refried beans with cheddar topping, Mexican rice and corn...for dessert, fried ice cream.  Yup.  Fried friggin' ice cream.  Be jealous followers.  Be jealous. 

4. Since I came down to the firehouse to just hang out.  So here I sit, waiting for the boys to return from a seizures/car into water call...they've been there for like 2 hours.  They should be back soon.

5. Since I was really truly happy with the direction life is going.  I finally love my job - I mean REALLY love what I do and who I do it with, my daughter and I are in a good spot thanks to the lovely Jodi Peterson and her awesome words, I'm baking cakes for fun - and getting recognized by people for it, and I'm getting ready to take a trip of a lifetime with Lilly to DC in October.  We're sleeping in the Natural History Museum...like "Night at the Museum" style on the floor in sleeping bags...its going to be so friggin' cool.  I wish I could tell her but I really want it to be a complete surprise.  Also, we're scheduled to have a PRIVATE tour of the White House on Saturday morning when we're down there and I owe that to some really great connections.  You know who you are - Thanks a million!

Check it out! 

6. Since I traveled away from home, without any of my family members, for an extended period of time.  On Friday I leave for Hyannis, MA for 12 days.  Granted, most of them are going to be 12-14 hour days filled with manual labor and sweat....but I'm going for work to show what I know...and its going to be a great experience.  I am just concerned that I'm really going to miss Lilly.  I have NEVER left her for more than a week.  12 days....that's a long time.  And while we're at it, the dog.  She gets nervous when I'm not home by "bed time"...never mind almost 2 weeks....this will be a test for all of us for sure.


That is all I can come up with right now.....if I think of anything else, check facebook and twitter...I'll be there.

8 Things to do with Your Children During A Hurricane....and During the Aftermath

So....a lot of you have already heard me bitch.  Its not that I lost power (because I didn't - I was lucky).  Its not about losing the Internet (because we don't subscribe to it at the house - that's why I pay more money for a smart phone).  Its not even that I can't watch the latest episode of Jersey Shore because my cable is out (because a. I don't watch Jersey Shore and 2. I didn't lose cable).  No....my bitch is about alllllll those assholes who didn't prepare for the storm, to be without power for 3-4 days like all the media "hyped it up" and are now complaining that their respective utility departments aren't moving fast enough.  I could go on again about my thoughts on the subject...but its a fight not worth battling.

Instead, I bring you, 8 fun things you could do with your children during a hurricane and the aftermath.  Realistically, these are thing you SHOULD be doing with your children ANYWAY.....but I digress....

1) READ with them.  During the day, there is sunlight.  Sunlight helps you see the words on the pages.  The pages do not require electricity.  Your children don't like to read??   Tough shit.  You're the parent, they're the children, make them read.  Its good for them.  They'll thank you later.

2) BUILD a fort.  No, I don't mean throw a blanket over a chair and call it a day.  I mean a state of the art fort involving SEVERAL blankets and chairs and clothes pins and flashlights and tunnels ans whatever the hell else you can think of.  Chances are you'll do most of the building but in 4 hours, your child will have a pretty sweet pad to sleep in for the night.

3) COLOR with your young children.  PAINT with them.  Pretend you're a world famous artist and teach them how to do like you do.  Have THEM teach YOU.  Have painting contests like: who can paint the prettiest flower or biggest truck - but with their eyes closed....with their left hand....

4) BUILD a cardboard city.  What is a cardboard city you ask?  Its exactly what it sounds like dumbass.  Cereal boxes, oatmeal containers....anything that's chillin' in the recycling container you brought inside so it doesn't blow away...instantly becomes something in your city.  Then, drive matchbox cars around your city.  Your child doesn't have matchbox cars?  Shame on you.  You fail as a parent.

5) PLAY dress up.  They put on your clothes....can you put on theirs???  Have a contest.  Who can put on the most pairs of pants at one time? 

6) START your Christmas list.  I have a shit load of fliers in my recycling (again, you brought it inside anyway remember?) that advertise everything from food to clothes to toys to Keurigs....{{Hint hint}}

7) PLAY shadow games.  As the day comes to an end, your house will get dark.  If you were prepared you have flashlights.  Do you know how to make shadow puppets?  Either do I.  Make it up.  Who the hell cares??

Finally,
8) In the days after the storm, there are going to be SEVERAL people you know - maybe not well - but you know them - who require assistance.  Get out with your children and HELP them.  Maybe an elderly neighbor's yard needs cleaning up.  Perhaps you have power but someone you know doesn't and won't for God knows how long - make them dinner and invite them over for a literal shit, shower, and shave.  I mean, you don't have to help with ALL those items...obviously....but a house with running water and a warm cooked meal is like gold right now.  Are you sharing?  If you all don't have power, gather the neighbors all up, light up your grill, and have a cookout.  You're not going to work, your kids don't have school, and the food is going to go bad anyway, right?

I'm leaving with a positive thought: “The happiest people I have known have been those who gave themselves no concern about their own souls, but did their uttermost to mitigate the miseries of others.” - Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Social Activist

 

8 Things I Learned This Week

So, this week I learned some interesting information.  Information I wouldn't consider highly intelligent, however very entertaining.  Here are 8 bits of said information.

1.  When you are considered the "nice" manager and you suddenly have to grow a set and tell your employees "You guys really need to stop shit chatting.  I don't know if you're aware but there are 26 boxes of shipment in the back that HAVE to get processed TODAY.  There's no time for socializing today," no matter what tone is used, you might as well have said, "Hey assholes.  Shut the fuck up and get to work because I'm not doing this shit all by myself," because that's the attitude response you get in return.

2. If you leave a buffalo chicken wrap on the arm of the couch and walk away, Maddie will eat it.  And then, when you do it again 4 days later, Maddie will in fact, eat it again. 

3.  Maddie prefers her kibble with a Tbsp of buffalo sauce and 2Tbsp of ranch dressing.

4. When you are in the shower on a Wednesday night around 9pm, and the fireworks at Mohegan Sun begin, it not only sounds like someone put a pair of work boots in the dryer, but it will also scare the crap out of you.

5. Neighbor C's house has been surprisingly quiet lately...its because http://www.jud2.ct.gov/crdockets/CaseDetail.aspx?source=Pending&Key=94b246ce-1d78-4ae8-a0f8-970056ab266f   Just FYI.

6. If you've ever had DCF called on you, you know that it sucks.  If you have nothing to hide its not bad because you know you're in the right.  Its just a pain in the ass.  If you've ever had to report someone to DCF you know that it is just a nerve wracking because as the reporter, you're not always kept in the loop.  If you've ever had to call DCF on a family member, you might as well pour the liquor while you're on the phone with them because you feel like an ass and an ogre the whole time....even if you know its the right thing to do.  I understand now the conflict it leaves you with when you are the caller.....

7. Assholes seem to flock to me.  The other day Lil and I stopped in Stop & Shop for a few items and a lady, quite intoxicated, kept hitting me on the arm behind me in line telling me to "hurryitup lady.  I gotta be paces."  Sure lady.  I'll step it up if you sober up.  Deal?

8. Finally, the saying "when the cats are away the mice will play" has never rung more true.  Lilly knows damn well she's only allowed to text so many times and make so many phone calls.  She also knows she is supposed to be in bed between 7:30 and 8:30 depending on both that day's activities and tomorrow's.  She called me just a few minutes ago....from Mimi's house...neither Mimi nor Grandpa knew she was up much less on the phone.....grrrr.....

That's all I have for tonight.  I made "Jam Surprise muffins" tonight because Gram wanted a jelly donut.  This was a close as I could get on short notice.  I'm going to go eat 2.....goodnight.

Neighbor C update....

Thought my followers might like this: Neighbor C's....whatever you wanna call him...and his current legal standings.


Oh good Lord.

The Sounds of Summer.....

Nothing says "summer" quite like birds chirping, cicadas doing what they do......unless you live near me.  In which case, every Wednesday night courtesy of Mohegan Sun you hear fireworks and courtesy of Neighbor C, you hear drunken rantings and attempts at singing love songs to your baby mama that ultimately end up with fighting and a felony arrest.  Ah yes, summer on Nordon Ave. 

Anywho, last night, as you guessed, Neighbor C was arrested.  I thought maybe for being drunk and disorderly but I don't know.  All we heard as we were NOT purposely listening through Lilly's bedroom window, was "Come on man...itsjusta breach of peace man", to which the officer replied, "Try a felony dumbass."  I really kinda want to know what in fact, he did.  Then again, in situations such as this, less is sometimes more.  Ya know? ((I tried to find the police log on this arrest but it's not in the paper - must have booked him after midnight))

Also last night, on a completely different topic, my dog did the strangest thing.  She "tells us" all the time she has to go out.  She'll come up to either me or my mom and kind of half bark half whine and that means "Open the door, I hafta poop".  Well last night she did it but when we went to the back door she stopped cocked her head, made the noise again and walked over to Gram and nudged her leg.  I thought this meant, "You come too" because the Sun had just set off their fireworks and maybe she was scared.  Nope.  It meant "I want to go for a run".  WHAT?  Yup.  She ran tot he front door where she has a long leash tied to the porch so I hooked it up and wen ton the porch with her.  Well, she kept pulling at it and looking at me like 'come down here...to the grass" so I untied her and took her to the yard.  Mind you, I was in pajama pants and a t-shirt...no shoes....no glasses...  Well, Maddie started walking toward the road so I thought well, a little stroll around the block will be fine.  And then she started running.  And wouldn't stop.  Until we RAN barefoot around the block and home again.  Once home and inside she curled up on the couch and went to sleep.  Darn dog wanted to go running!  Who woulda thunk it?!

A Day at the Beach with the Littles

Lilly relaxing in the "beach chair"

So I was fortunate enough to have from Friday at 5pm until Tuesday at 1pm off from work and with Lilly.  I was going to overload the schedule with fun summer activities but then I thought about it and really, a few days of kicking back without a schedule and just going with the flow sounded more like exactly what we needed.  Friday evening, it was still blisteringly hot so Lilly and I thought we'd "hide" in Stop & Shop.  As it turned out, the power at Stop & Shop ALSO thought it would hide...as it was no where to be found.  I did manage to pick up some items but ended up leaving without a majority of what we needed and had to come back Saturday morning.  No worries.  After the trip to the store Saturday, which I went on by myself because little Miss HATES grocery shopping, she decided she was going to cook me lunch.  So cute right?  Together we had found this fun website for kids cooking called "Play with Your Food".  Lilly (with some help from me with the over) prepared "Dinosaurs in the Trees" - dino chicken nuggets, broccoli 'trees' and broccoli slaw 'grass'.  It was delicious.  That afternoon, our neighbor and fellow firefighter Bill invited us over for a dip in his pool.  Ahhhhhhh.....so relaxing.  Much better than trying to paddle around in Maddie's plastic kiddie pool ;-/

Sunday, was a great day.  With the extreme temps and sweaty kids (we borrowed the Littles) the only place to be was at the beach.  So Lilly and I prepared some tasty eats the night before and packed it all up in the cooler along with towels, blankets, sand toys, sunscreen, and all the other beach gear, threw everyone in the car, and headed to Rocky Neck for the day....where the sun didn't shine....at all....even for 5 minutes....until we got on 395 heading home at quarter after 4 in the afternoon.  Figures. 

Ham and cheese roll-ups and PB&J roll-ups.

Olive penguins, ladybugs on a log, and pepper butterflies.

Fruit flowers and citrus boats.

Corn flowers.

Living the good life - 10:15am on the beach.

Fruit break.

"Discussing" how they were going to construct their castle.  It never got built.

Dana and Lilly gave up and went swimming while Emily sat and thought about it for just a FEW MORE MINUTES.



The sun finally came out.....6 hours later...on our way home.

Back on the beach though, I took some photos...some require an explanation as to their importance...some are self-explanatory.  Here are a few:

The woman in the blue tank top and black spandex, while covered, neglected the bra portion of her outfit....thank God she's facing away....next to her is a young lady with black shorts on the read "BITCH" across her rear-end -- classy.  All the way to the right is another lady wearing black spandex, a red tube top, and a black bra.  Ugh. 

Not sure where this woman's boobs ended and the back began....go ahead....zoom in...you'll see...

Ah yes.  The family reunion.  In more than one sense.  You see, the family of about 72374 all met on the beach today.  And then the woman hugging the young boy, lost the young boy, and proceeded to stand in the water yelling his name out for almost 45 minutes.  Obviously this worked in some way because here they are hugging....but really?

Monday, Lilly and I both slept in until about 9 and after breakfast went to the library for an hour or so.  She took out this CD titled "Hop, Skip, Sing Spanish" to play in the car so she could learn Spanish.  It's great.  Perfect for children to follow along to, fun for the whole family.......unless you think like a I do occasionally with your mind in the gutter.  There is a song, supposedly a traditional Spanish song sung to babies and small children, about a box.  There are surprises int he box too.  What's in your box?  Also, chestnuts and little chestnuts.  Oh dear.  It's interesting.

Anyway, after Lilly's appointment in Old Lyme, we surprised her with a trip to Buttonwood Farm for their annual Sunflowers for Wishes fundraisers.  We took a hayride through the pasture and fed the cows, through the fields of sunflowers, and had huge portions of ice cream which, according to Lilly, is the best ice cream on the planet because they make it "RIGHT THERE!" 

Myself, Lil, and Gram getting ready for the hay ride.

Feeding the poor, neglected {cough..eh hem} cows.

Mmmm....hay.

Hey now brown cow.

So pretty.

Lilly and Gram.  Take 5.

I think this would be a pretty cool postcard or puzzle....



I took this one by accident...but its really cool I think.




Oh yes.  Ice cream.  Its what's for dinner.

{Technical difficulties overcome.}

We wrapped up Monday with a glance through Lilly's new Kid's Cookbook we borrowed from the library and made up a list of items I have to purchase before she returns to my house Saturday.  The list is, if you fold a piece of notebook paper in half length-wise, 3 columns long.  Just stuff for these recipes.  3 columns.  Then I added in the other stuff we need like, you know, toilet paper, tissues, MORE sunscreen....and now it's 5 columns long.  Can't wait for that bill.....coupon clippin' here I come!

In any event, Lilly had fallen asleep Monday on the way back from Buttonwood for about 20 minutes, still went to bed at 8....and I STILL couldn't get her out of bed until 9:20 this morning.  In addition to being very interested in cooking and, more importantly - eating, she's been sleeping like crazy.  Can we say "growth spurt"?  Thank goodness it's summer and we're wearing shorts......